Our desires should be God first, then our husband. Due to sin, our desires sometimes turn towards other things of the world - addictions, affairs, money, shopping, our jobs, our children, etc. Don't get me wrong, we can desire good things, my desires are chocolate and coffee! But if we elevate those desires beyond where they are suppose to be, the desire becomes disordered and we become a slave to that desire.
Most women set up men as idols and look to them to provide emotionally, spiritually, and physically what only God can provide. Apart from Christ, men oppress women in return, hence the modern day coping mechanisms of independent self-sufficiency and control for dealing with that male oppression.
I know us as women, we want our husbands to want us. With all of the easily accessible pornography and "dating" websites, we feel we are being compared to other women every day. Other women are just a "click" away from our husband. That is when a woman becomes enslaved by comparing intellect, beauty, body composition, style, and fashion. An untrue image of oneself will always lead to discontentment and insecurity. We must always find our identity in Christ and never from a TV screen or a magazine.
Perfectionism is the disordered desire for righteousness and perfection apart from Christ. Where perfection is not attained, we become paralyzed. When we start desiring perfection apart from Christ, that is when the enemy slips in and tells us lies about who we are. Once we believe those lies, our eyes and minds start to wander to seek other people's approval instead of God's. We don't have to be a perfect wife and a perfect mother to be a great wife and a great mother. We take on the perfection made available to us in Jesus Christ.