Lately I have been struggling with my past sins. And someday when The Lord tells me it is time, I will give my full testimony as He sees fit. But as a relatively new Christian, I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Jesus saved my wretched soul. Now I know that we all fall short of the glory of God and we all deserve Hell. But the fact that His love for me is so strong, He reached down and picked me up out of the pit that I got myself into!
Our church service yesterday was exactly what I needed! We talked about condemnation and how we no longer suffer from it as long as we are in Christ Jesus. But, unfortunately, we have an enemy that does like to condemn us. Condemnation is termed legal accusations against us. Satan brings up accusations of our past all the time; he reminds us of our failures. He discredits us, belittles us, does anything to make us lose confidence in our faith. He wants to stop our spiritual growth and continue to tell us negative reports about our life.
I never understood why people in church always cried. I always thought, "Why are these people crying? I thought church was supposed to be a good thing? Everyone at church has everything together: perfect life, perfect family, perfect job. No one here has problems......it's church!" WOW! Was I wrong. Of course, I was a lost sinner who had no idea what was going on. But now I understand why they cry. I am one of those people NOW who I use to look at THEN and ask why are they crying? We cry tears of joy because we are so THANKFUL for the grace, mercy and our salvation The Lord has given us. We are thankful for His guidance in our lives. We are thankful for open doors and closed doors (even when we can't see it at the time). We don't have a past with Jesus, we only have a future.
There are painful times we experience in life and wonder why God allows us to feel that pain. But we have to realize, how can we minister to people and relate to the pain that they are experiencing if we have never experienced it ourselves? When you are in your trial and storm, you may not see that at that time. But once He pulls you through it, you are thankful for the mountain He has moved for you and you can now lead others to Christ by relating what you have been through yourself. I know that everything that I have been through in my life was not for nothing. I know that He will use my huge mess and turn it into a message. And He is waiting to do the same for you. Just tell Satan to get behind you and shout the name of Jesus!