I did not grow up in a Christian home so my parents never taught us about Jesus and when life gets rough, get on your knees and pray and turn to the bible. We just yelled and screamed and it was a constant fight in my house. So I had built walls up around my heart to never let anyone in because I knew that as soon as someone came in, my heart got re-broken all over again. So needless to say, I had a hardened heart that was very difficult for my husband to be allowed into. But when I got saved October 2, 2014 Jesus came into my heart and took it over and now it is as soft as melted butter! But it took 34 years for that to happen, so these things don't happen in our time, but in God's time.
The process of realizing the relationship should be severed between my parents and I came only from the ONE AND ONLY, God! My parents have been fighting with my husband and I even throughout the past 13 years of our marriage. Every time my parents would get upset about the most obnoxious things, my husband & close Christian friends would tell me that their reaction and behavior is not normal in that kind of situation. But what did I know? That was all I was used to. To me, that behavior was normal because that is how they have acted my whole life.
On July 8th, 2015 I witnessed to my mom for the very first time in my life and it felt amazing! I am not saying it was easy, but I know it had to be done. God spoke to my heart so clearly that it was something I knew I had to do. That night I knew our relationship was over because I had told her that unless she gets her life right with The Lord, she would not have a relationship with my husband, children or I. The following day I was reading my devotions and studying the bible when I read about God hardening Pharaohs heart in the book of Exodus. Moses went to Pharaoh asking him to free his people and the ruler continued to have a hardened heart. Out of stubbornness and pride, Pharaoh continued to deny Moses plea. After this happened a number of times, The Lord stepped in. Following the sixth plague and several afterwards, it was God who had hardened Pharaoh's heart against the Israelite's. So God himself made the Hebrew's lives increasingly miserable until they finally made up their minds to finally leave.
That's it! I have been praying all of these years for God to show me what I should do and how I should handle this situation with my parents because I knew I could not continue to live my life like this. I was praying for God to soften my mom's heart so she could be saved, but this whole time He was actually doing the opposite of what I was asking. As I sat there reading it at home by myself I started to cry out to God thanking Him for this very clear message to me: Shannon, I want to take you out of your Egypt. But I have to make things worse so you will want to go. I have hardened your mom's heart for your sake - so you'll want to be free. I am freeing your heart - the heart that has been abused, disappointed and rejected. You are so accustomed to this treatment that you don't know what freedom really is. But I am going to move you past that. Regardless of what happens with you and your parents, I want your heart to be free. I am going to take you to a place of safety and freedom, but you are going to have to trust Me every step of the way.
OH GLORY DAY! I have never in my life been as stress-free, thankful, faithful, free of bondage, as what I am right now. This bondage I have been free of has really opened my eyes to the fact that this life is not mine, but that it is God's and if you truly seek His guidance, you will find it.
Whatever is keeping you in bondage you must pray to have God open your spiritual eyes, ears, and heart so you can see what He has planned for you. He wants us to experience freedom from any strongholds we have in our life. But we must allow Him to take us to that place of safety and freedom before we can truly experience it. Praise God!