Although we can hide our guilt and shame from the rest of the world, we cannot hide them from God. God can see every cut, scrape, broken bone and bruise and He is wanting to heal your wounds and heal them completely. He wants your life to be surrendered to Him, but He will not force you into doing it. You must be reveal your desire and willingness for Him to heal. And that is our biggest struggle: the willingness to heal.
The first step to healing is that you must be willing to reveal what is hurting. When I went through the most traumatic season of my life, I knew I had to talk to someone about it. I couldn't talk to my husband and I couldn't talk to my best friend but I could confide in a Christian Mentor who was going to lead me spiritually on what to do. The first thing she told me was to confess to God that I was a sinner and needed to ask Him to forgive me for what I had done. If I could not confess to God what I had done, how was He going to start healing my brokenness? I also felt that once I got it out and no longer kept it as "my little secret", I saw the burden starting to be lifted once I confessed to not only God but to her as well. Because not only was she able to add me to her prayer list, but I was able to start praying to God about it and not feel as though I was hiding it from Him.
You know how you get when you are crying hysterically, screaming, snot is flying, your wailing on the floor like a 2 year old, and just feel like you can't move another foot because you are completely exhausted? When the shame, guilt, abuse, pain and anger have taken over you? Yup, me too! That is exactly where God wants you. That is where God will come in and save you when you look to Him. That is when God tells you that He never stopped loving you, is weeping with you, is embracing you and promises to never let you go as He begins to heal what you reveal to Him.
There is no question about it, God is a saving God and He wants to save you. He wants to save you from your painful past and He wants to heal you. He wants to take all of your pain and suffering and turn it into something beautiful for His glory and your ministry. Just like the verse says in the bible in Isaiah 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
and provide for those who grieve in Zion--
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair."
God promises to exchange our pain for His purpose if we allow Him to. God receives the glory when I verbally share my painful past for His purpose. We all need to understand that this life is not ours and that we need to live it for Him and His purpose for our lives. All of our joy, pain, trials and tribulations need to glorify Him and His plans for our lives. So I am telling you now, go and share with others what God has done for you. Because we were not saved to be silent and He did not heal what we revealed to sit back and not produce fruit. There are so many sisters out there who are suffering in silence just like you and I have all of these years. But now is the time to break the silence and to let God heal what is revealed.